Guy licked-Five Questions for the Guy Who Licked a Stranger’s Doorbell for Three Hours - VICE

What do you do in this sort of situation? Because this is probably happening on your porch every night. I thought that maybe they knew the guy, but nope, this is a random stranger licking their doorbell. He also tries to shove flowers into their camera. Their functioning doorbell would have to be the Ring.

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The pairing of the modern security state with our hotcontent culture has resulted in the birth of a new type of story.

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Police search for man who licked doorbell for three hours in California | World News | Sky News

The pairing of the modern security state with our hotcontent culture has resulted in the birth of a new type of story. You know the one. I was so, so, so wrong. There is no bottom. Now, this story is pretty darn straightforward. The parents were gone at the time but the children were inside. From here Arroyo took to, uh, licking the doorbell and boy howdy did he ever lick. He licked and licked for three hours.

According to local media , Arroyo spent upward of three hours licking this doorbell. The family was lucky enough to have installed a camera near the doorbell which starts recording when there is movement and get a good look at the guy. Now, I need you to go with me here. Is that why you like the doorbell, because of the taste? If not is there some other reason? Is it because you like the feeling of using your tongue to press in the little button and hear the faint dinging? Is this your version of sanitary licking?

Do you like to lick the spigot that turns on the hose? Is it the shape of it or what it does? Like would one of those garage door opener that is really similar to a doorbell do it for you? Or is it the fact it creates a little ding when you press hard?

There is no real way that you could have known about the small hidden camera, so what are you looking at?

I can feel you eyeing me up and down as if I had just sat down on one of those porno casting couches. Speaking of that, it brings us to our next question. Fun fact: Two days ago my vacation ended and I flew back from western Canada to Toronto. The total time in the air for the flight from Calgary to Toronto—a little over three hours. Well, the answer would be a resounding, yes. Yes, it sure is an impressively long time to be licking a doorbell.

Think about watching a hockey game and then just licking the doorbell that entire time. In order to do that he must have gone into a meditation and reached zen through his licking.

Hell, I could now narrate—Attenborough style—this guy licking the fucking doorbell with my eyes closed now. Sign up for our newsletter to get the best of VICE delivered to your inbox daily. Follow Mack Lamoureux on Twitter. Jan 9 , pm.

Guy licked